Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize