And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
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I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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