that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize