He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
what day is it and did you see me today?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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