Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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