Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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