it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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