I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize