I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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