i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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