We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The police scanner is talking about you again....
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she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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