i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize