I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
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She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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