I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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