She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And then my night got REAL pukey
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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