dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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