Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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