I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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