Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize