Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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