New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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