It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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