He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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