is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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