If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just had sex on a roof
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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