he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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