why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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