Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize