Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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