That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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