You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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