Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize