Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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