he told me I talked like a deaf person
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize