Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize