i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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