Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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