Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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