last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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