Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.

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(516): Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid. http://tfl.nu/hcvk

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(408): View more from California

i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight

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(408): i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight http://tfl.nu/uzvu

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

Wtf? What happened?

(931): View more from Tennessee

Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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(931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo

Replies (42) Good night (17431) Bad night (898)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

And she used to have such long ones. Sad.

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(918): Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm. (1-918): And she used to have such long ones. Sad. http://tfl.nu/v7eg

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(917): View more from New York City

you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit

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(917): you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit http://tfl.nu/h4ki

Replies (7) Good night (4556) Bad night (1115)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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(902): you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had http://tfl.nu/lpp3

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(562): View more from California

Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas

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(562): Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas http://tfl.nu/zcne

Replies (7) Good night (2805) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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(989): View more from Michigan

I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.

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(989): I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA. http://tfl.nu/3qxw

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(303): View more from Colorado

high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.

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(303): high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me. http://tfl.nu/bsmu

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(440): View more from Ohio

I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

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(440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire. http://tfl.nu/vw34

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.

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(715): After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted. http://tfl.nu/w4vl

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(651): View more from Minnesota

"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.

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(651): "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk. http://tfl.nu/ji17

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(214): View more from Texas

If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover

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(214): If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/4860

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(402): View more from Nebraska

If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom

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(402): If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom http://tfl.nu/036d

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(574): View more from Indiana

I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.

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(574): I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it. http://tfl.nu/5b4k

Replies (4) Good night (311) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt

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