apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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