life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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