Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize