Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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