In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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