she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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