another moral hangover. fuck.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
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My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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