i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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