No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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