She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize